Pinkie, The Elephant

It's time for a very small revolution of reckoning. It's time to state the obvious and name the proverbial pink elephant in the room.

We often choose to ignore reality or to address a more serious issue, for the sake of wanting to protect someone, be it ourselves or others. The hard-to-miss pink elephant flaunts itself, yet we continue unperturbed, often focusing on unimportant and trivial matters. We even create diversions to aid our and others' denial. Perhaps, what needs to be addressed places us in an uncomfortable position, or it "out"s the other. Whatever the case, we must all take a step towards liberating that pink elephant by calling it out.

"You, sir, are a PINK ELEPHANT! Let's have tea!"

Some usual pink elephants include, that one flaming gay who swears he's not gay and follows it with a hair flip; the middle child who always covers her arms and legs to hide tiny scars; the middle-aged woman who pops pills for sleeping, eating, and waking; the twentysomething who buys a BMW but does not file a tax return; the neighbor who somehow ends up with exact tools you're missing and doesn't mind using them in front of you; the girlfriend or wife who talks on the phone in secret, receives random midnight texts, breaks up with you for every little thing, or picks fights with you over "nothing"; the husband who spends an inordinate amount of time in the garage or surfing the internet and becomes angry or aloof each time you greet his behavior with curiosity; the significant other who swears you are cheating, only to project her own indiscretions on to you. The list is endless, for it covers every kind of avoided addiction.

Essentially, a pink elephant is a thing, an issue, that can keep couples from intimacy and individuals from the road to recovery. Not naming the pink elephant is a fail-proof way of destroying what could be healthy relationships. Over time, denial fuels the break-down in communication in couples and healing in individuals. Naming the pink elephant creates a starting point for dealing with the issue at hand. It is a way of knowing and exerting dominion over, in the likes of a steward. It is the opposite of neglect. Soon, naming leads to handling and handling leads to understanding. Change is possible. No longer is there a need to avoid the obvious.

"You can go home now, pink elephant. We don't need you anymore."