Notes on Man For Himself, Erich Fromm

Humanistic Ethics

Man For Himself—An Inquiry into the Psychology of Ethics

Authoritarian Ethics

· denies man's capacity to know what is good/bad

· the norm giver is always an authority transcending the individual

· answers the question of good and bad in terms of authority's interests

· child/adult relationship-

"a thing is good if it is good for the person who uses it"

· ordains main virtue-obedience; main sin-disobedience

· Old Testament

· "virtue"=self-denial and obedience, suppression of individuality rather than full expression

Humanistic Ethics

· "the applied science of the 'art of living' based upon the theoretical 'science of man'"

· only man himself can determine criterion for virtue and sin, not authority (formally)

· "good" is what is good for man; "evil" is what is detrimental

· sole criterion is man's welfare

· "virtue" is unique individuality lived to fullest

· nothing higher and nothing more dignified than human existence

· man finds his fulfillment and happiness only in relatedness to and solidarity with his fellow man

· love is his own power by which he relates to the world and makes it truly his

· in order to know what is "good" we have to know his nature

· the excellence of one's achievements is proportional to the knowledge one has of the science of man and to one's skill and practice

· the knowledge of man is the basis of establishing norms and ethics

• Need for objective criterion
• Is it possible to establish norms of conduct and value judgments which are objectively valid for all men and yet postulated by man himself and not by an authority transcending him?
• note: in all arts a system of objectively valid norms constitutes the theory of practice based on theoretical science
• living itself is an art
  • process of developing into that which one is potentially
  • man is both the artist and he object of his art

• "The drive to live is inherent in every organism, and man cannot help wanting to live regardless of what he would like to think about it. The choice between life and death is more apparent than real; man's real choice is that between a good life and bad life"
• Why has our time lost the concept of life as an art?
  • Modern man seems to think, "living is something so simple that no particular effort is required to learn how to do it" while the belief that becoming an architect, etc. warrants considerable study

• "Modern society, in spite of all the emphasis it puts upon happiness, individuality, and self-interest, has taught man to feel that not his happiness (or if we were to use a theological term, his salvation) is the aim of life, but the fulfillment of his duty to work, or his success. Money, prestige, and power have become his incentives and ends. He acts under the illusion that his actions benefit his self-interest, though he actually serves everything else but the interest of his real self. Everything is important to him except his life and the art of living"
  • "[Man] is for everything except himself"

"If ethics constitutes the body of norms for achieving excellence in performing the art of living, its most general principles must follow from the nature of life in general and of human existence in particular"

• The nature of life is to preserve and affirm its own existence
  • Respect for life
  • Inherent tendency to protect own life
  • First "duty," to be alive
    • "a dynamic, not static, concept"
  • "Existence and the unfolding of the specific powers of an organism are one and the same"
    • To actualize specific potentialities
    • "The aim of man's life is to be understood as the unfolding of his powers according to the laws of his nature"
      • Duty of living is the duty to become oneself, singular and particular

"Good"

ü "the affirmation of life, the unfolding of man's powers"

Ø "Virtue"

§ "responsibility toward his own existence"

"Evil"

ü "crippling of man's powers"

Ø "Vice"

§ "irresponsibility toward himself"

The Science of Man (Human nature)

Ø Man exists and there is a human nature characteristic of the species

Ø Authoritarian thinkers

Ø Human nature fixed and unchangeable

Ø Progressive thinkers

Ø Infinite malleability of human nature

Ø Both untenable

Ø Man can adapt himself to almost any cultural pattern

Ø But he develops mental and emotional disturbances if these are contradictory to his nature

Ø Man is not a blank sheet

Ø Man is an entity charged with energy and structured in specific ways

Ø "If man had adapted himself to external conditions autoplastically, by changing his own nature, like an animal, and were fit to live under only one set of conditions to which he developed a special adaptation, he would have reached the blind alley of specialization which is the fate of every animal species, thus precluding history. If, on the other hand, man could adapt himself to all conditions without fighting those which are against his nature, he would have no history either"

Ø "Human evolution is rooted in man's adaptability and in certain indestructible qualities of his nature which compel him never to cease his search for conditions better adjusted to his intrinsic needs"

Robert Pinsky's "ABC" Poem

ABC

Any body can die, evidently. Few
Go happily, irradiating joy,

Knowledge, love. Many
Need oblivion, painkillers,
Quickest respite.

Sweet time unafflicted,
Various world:

X=your zenith.

Pinkie, The Elephant

It's time for a very small revolution of reckoning. It's time to state the obvious and name the proverbial pink elephant in the room.

We often choose to ignore reality or to address a more serious issue, for the sake of wanting to protect someone, be it ourselves or others. The hard-to-miss pink elephant flaunts itself, yet we continue unperturbed, often focusing on unimportant and trivial matters. We even create diversions to aid our and others' denial. Perhaps, what needs to be addressed places us in an uncomfortable position, or it "out"s the other. Whatever the case, we must all take a step towards liberating that pink elephant by calling it out.

"You, sir, are a PINK ELEPHANT! Let's have tea!"

Some usual pink elephants include, that one flaming gay who swears he's not gay and follows it with a hair flip; the middle child who always covers her arms and legs to hide tiny scars; the middle-aged woman who pops pills for sleeping, eating, and waking; the twentysomething who buys a BMW but does not file a tax return; the neighbor who somehow ends up with exact tools you're missing and doesn't mind using them in front of you; the girlfriend or wife who talks on the phone in secret, receives random midnight texts, breaks up with you for every little thing, or picks fights with you over "nothing"; the husband who spends an inordinate amount of time in the garage or surfing the internet and becomes angry or aloof each time you greet his behavior with curiosity; the significant other who swears you are cheating, only to project her own indiscretions on to you. The list is endless, for it covers every kind of avoided addiction.

Essentially, a pink elephant is a thing, an issue, that can keep couples from intimacy and individuals from the road to recovery. Not naming the pink elephant is a fail-proof way of destroying what could be healthy relationships. Over time, denial fuels the break-down in communication in couples and healing in individuals. Naming the pink elephant creates a starting point for dealing with the issue at hand. It is a way of knowing and exerting dominion over, in the likes of a steward. It is the opposite of neglect. Soon, naming leads to handling and handling leads to understanding. Change is possible. No longer is there a need to avoid the obvious.

"You can go home now, pink elephant. We don't need you anymore."

Today's Muse

Go hard.

Don't waste your time on people who waste your time.

Wanting and liking are not the same thing. If she's hard to get, trust me, she's not worth it.

No great "catch" wants to 'wrap you around her finger'--a great catch, naturally and without resistance, wraps around yours.

Games are for children. Grow up.

Productively obsess. At will. Passions tend to come to life and create new life when you obsess.

Be willing to pounce on a new opportunity, like the king of the jungle after her prey, even if it means giving up something you're "set" on.

A lived life is built upon roads that twist and turn. Narrow-mindedness leads only to missed opportunities.

Luck is Chance's flexible will. Take a chance!

If it's killing you, quit it!

"Quitting is actually incredibly empowering. It's a reminder that you control the situation. Sometimes it's the bravest option, because it requires you to face your failures." -Tina Seelig

Face your failures. And your fears. Empower yourself to see reality as is. Fantasies are meant for the bedroom.

Desire for control is the handmaiden of the weak. Self-control is characteristic of the strong. However, never underestimate your own impulse control. Some of us just really love chocolate. = )

Narcissism isn't really 'love of self.' In fact, narcissists not only do not love themselves, they hate humanity, starting with their own.

Inevitably, we'll face the decision to either keep doing things our way--when we want and for ourselves--or take into account what others want as well. Mutuality, in keeping with healthy relationship standards, dictates that we sometimes do things purely for the sake of another, despite that it's not what we'd usually do or how we'd usually do it.

Go on! Do that thing because you simply and genuinely want to see another happy.

Happiness is not wanting anything more than what you have.

Ambition is best in small doses. Following through creates the tastiest desserts.

On Giving

Giving isn't about ways and opportunities in which you abandon yourself for the sake of another. It is about ways and opportunities in which you give what is most present and connected in you for the sake of another.

No Absolution, No Pardon

There ain't no destiny about that there choice. No authority will grant you absolution from your obligation to choose for and be yourself. Though you may create the illusion of independence and individuality, your dependence on things you consider greater than your own will keeps you stuck: powerless, yet comfy. You abandon yourself in servitude out of your fear of being responsible for your own life. A simple word like "own" means "possession." So, own it and own up to it. No fortune cookie will pardon you from the charge that you have not been creative and courageous enough to write your own destiny. In the end, you'll die alone. This is both your greatest fear and your only path to salvation. There ain't no destiny about salvation. How fortunate you are to choose!

On Facades

Some people spend most of their time and energy creating facades for those in their lives that don't matter, instead of spending it wisely on those who do. They would rather hide behind a persona that is a seemingly better version of themselves than be exactly whom they are, out in the open. Some people also spend most of their time diverting others' attention away from ways in which they suck and do wrong, instead of being honest and honestly changing. They spend their whole lives focused on one thing: how to hide, without anyone, including themselves, noticing.

Not everyone is so blind or naive or soft. And not everyone has the courage to walk the high road.